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Wednesday, 12 May 2010

Dropping one's knickers for a bottle of Bollinger

We have a new prime-minister who is a Conservative and a new deputy prime-minister who is Liberal Democrat.  The Liberal Nick Clegg has been well and truly wooed, the sweet talk, the Bollinger, the metaphorical kisses and caresses of David opening Nick up like a rose. He surrendered and became David's. This is no short term relationship. Nick has committed the Liberals to a 5 year temporary marriage, his party being the lesser of the two equals. They will be the courtesan that will serve the Conservative machine. Let's hope the sweet talk, the kisses, caresses and mutual love and respect can stand the test of time. As the weaker partner, as the partner who has been traded, let us hope the Liberals can keep their honour intact, let us hope that the Conservative party does not become bored of its slatternly new companion. It would be sad to see the passion of the affair weaken and thin, to see the sweet words turn to epithets of abuse, the kisses and caresses  turn to slaps and punches, to see the Liberals the butt of Conservative abuse, the romance fading to reveal a battered and bruised party bereft of pride, dignity and principle, a party dishonoured and humiliated in the eyes of the people who once voted for them.

Etcetera, etcetera, etcetera...

The leaflet above shows Don Foster, my local Liberal MP. I voted for him because "I didn't want the tories to get in" and voting Labour or Green was a "wasted vote". Duh! The leaflet mentions "A Clear Choice" between the Liberals and Conservative. It doesn't mention "I'm going to drop my pants as soon as David Cameron throws a bottle of Tory Bolly my way."

The upshot of the election is that the Conservatives got no mandate. They only got 36% of the vote - almost two thirds of voters voted against them. Everybody lost; the Conservatives, Liberals and Labour all lost. The BNP lost as well. And UKIP. Only the Greens won.

But only the Liberals lost two elections in one go - this one and the next because, extrapolating from myself, there are going to be a fair few people who will not be voting for the Liberals in 2015 (or should that be 2011). Sorry Don. Unless you have a cunning plan up your sleeve - and "tempering the excesses" of the Conservative Party is not that cunning plan - you have lost my vote.

That Caroline Lucas looks nice.

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